Unclutter your mind.

So I'm on the road again : ) This time it's a pretty straight shot down 80 and I'm bouncing right back home to Chicago when I'm done. I'm out in farmland Nebraska, spending October at an art residency...my bedroom is the tippy top corner in a re-located 1890's farmhouse and my studio is the most glorious barn with a giant sliding door and a front porch made of bricks dug into the grass. This place has proven pretty hard to sum up in words, but I will say for someone who thrives on space and fresh air, and changing locations when something doesn't feel right, it's heaven.

The buildings here have all been brought here; 17 of them. We moved the 18th yesterday. It's still sitting on the trailers in the middle of the freshly cut cornfield...no one is quite sure where it will go. I was talking to Ed, the man that runs this whole operation, and he asked me where I thought it should go. "It's a small one," he said, "We could even just put it on top of one of the others..." his eyes trailing off into the expanse of space towards the rest of the farm.

This place is incredible.

It took a few days to settle in, find my studio, unpack, get inspired. And then I started painting. For a few days...until the point of taking a whole month off 'normal life' to 'work' began to get really confusing, really fast. What was I doing here? I took a whole month off work! Who does that!? I can't afford this. And what was the point? Was I supposed to be growing here or just churning out art for exhibitions? I was feeling like if I didn't return home with some masterpieces this would have all been a waste. Was I focused on getting into grad-school, selling art or being a better human being through my art? Was I just slopping paint around like a child for fun? Was this all just for fun?  The questions wouldn't stop.

There is a delicate balance between being inspired and excited about your work and then over-thinking everything and feeling like your a little kid messing around with art supplies and "What's the point?"

From The Tao of Leadership:

UNCLUTTER YOUR MIND.

Beginners acquire new theories and techniques until their minds are cluttered with options.

Advanced students forget their many options. They allow the theories and techniques that they have learned to recede into the background.

Learn to unclutter your mind. Learn to simplify your work.

As you rely less and less on knowing just what to do, your work will become more direct and more powerful. You will discover that the quality of your consciousness is more potent than any technique or theory or interpretation.

Learn how fruitful the individual suddenly becomes when they give up trying to do just the right thing.

I stole that book from my dad years ago and it is the only book I took with me around the world that never got left behind...

I relaxed and just started having fun, and yes, like a kid. I came out here to spend time working on my art. But I also came to open my mind and experiment, and get messy, and the one, most solid block in my practice, that I still seem to forget too often, "to mess it up". That's how I grow. Take unnecessary risks and don't get attached to anything : )

So here's some sloppy don't-give-a-f#%k starts...there are almost 20 pieces total but here's just the first round:

And a late night charcoal craving... I tried to replicate the top right painting in black and white...it's been a long time since I worked so tonal with charcoal : )

And some fabric got glued in...

And I really love this one...

Some of these got overworked but most turned out alright : )

So, I'm actually back home now (I couldn't stand being on my computer to finish this on the farm) and just unrolling all of this art from what already feels like another time...and I'm in love with it all over again. It shows the struggle, but it also turned out to be beautiful and perfectly encompassing : ) And now I'm realizing how small my studio here is and can I find a barn in Chicago to work in?!!?