WOW.

Every year, every February, I jolt back to reality. Like one big sparkly masquerading time bomb; the holidays and the cold and the tilt of the Earth join forces and coerce me down a dark and dwindling path which ends with a thump in the bottom of a groundhog hole. And then wander-luster inside of me shakes awake again.

It is from the bottom of this hole that I make decisions like buying one way flights to South America (Feb 2010) or decide to be a farmer next winter (2009), or think just because it is near the ocean, winter in Rhode Island will be better in winter (2004).  I am going to win this year. I am going to beat the wander-luster at her own game and I am going to stand my frozen ground. I have come to this conclusion because of a poem.

The Bay of Bengal

The sea today couldn’t have cared less.
It went on roaring,
strangling,
impaling itself
onto flat, black,
skull-crusher rocks.

matter (mat’er) n.[[ME matière < L materia, material, stuff (< base of mater, MOTHER) ]]

matter of opinion: These waves blast shoreward in an act of confidence; the leaders, the doers, the fearless.

matter of fact: These waves must recoil.

Lavender foam takes rays
from a shipwrecked sun,
launching them back like bullets
through a bent horizon.

This poem is mine. I wrote it on the beach in Varkala, India. I was no doubt sunburned, in a bathing suit, with henna all over my arms and a guitar playing nearby. I wished my loved ones warmth and happiness every night as I watched my sun sink into the sea, knowing that it was 7am in Chicago and they were all just beginning their frosty mornings. They were all wearing snow boots.

This poem is about nature and the weather being incredibly menacing. This poem is about two forms of reality; romance and reason. This poem is about the truth being skewed and filtered until there is nothing recognizable left. And this poem is about persevering through it all and then, afterwards, just giving yourself to the mercy of the wind.
This poem was written while I was in the happiest, relaxed, and balanced state of mind I have ever experienced and it is proof that it is not dependent on the weather, I will feel hopeless in February.